Daycare and Librarians
by Hopeless27
Summary: “Why does ORESAMA have to work as a COMMONER, aaan?” A time old tradition of Hyoutei has the boys setting off in a whole new world…aka: a commoners world… atoji and dirty. Rated T to be sure...
1. Chapter 1

**Rated:**** K+**

**Summary**: **"Why does ORE-SAMA have to work as a COMMONER, aa-an?****" A time old tradition of Hyoutei, has the boys setting off in a whole new world…aka: a commoners world…**

**Pairings: ****Atoji, Dirty**

**Category: ****humour**

**Characters:**** Hyoutei**

**Disclaimer:**

* * *

_XP, I'm back to my crack streak… until I feel like writing angst, but I have other stories where I write angst, _I_'m just not posting them, so yeah… I'll shut up now, here's my Hyoutei list:_

_**Hyotei Phobia**_

_**Hyotei Library Session**_

_**Bets and Lovers**_

_**Book of Stupidity**_

_**Fights and Idiots**_

_**Switching Places**_

_**Book of Stupidity 2**_

_**Melting Ice**_

_**Lost in Tennis**_

_**Of Cameras and Attention**_

_**Street Tennis**_

_**Ore-sama's journal**_

_**Advice from Jirou**_

_**The Park and the Church**_

_**The Accident**_

_**Unhappy Information**_

_**Hospital Food**_

_**Help from Jirou**_

_**Reconcile and Resolve**_

_**Atobeism**_

_**Getting Out**_

* * *

Atobe stared dumbstruck at the piece of paper in his hand; he was a student of the prestigious Hyoutei Gakuen Chuutou Bu… and an accomplished one at that. Why did the school put him under this kind of torture? Oh Kami-sama, Atobe was NOT going to do this if he had a say in it… unfortunately, his parents were now somewhere in … where ever they were, let's just call it La-la land, and Atobe had no chance of reaching them and complaining about this… this… cruel and unusual punishment.

"Atobe, stop glaring holes into the paper," Oshitari said calmly, "It's not like that's going to get you out of this."

Oh, Atobe really, Really, REALLY wished that it could… unfortunately, this just wasn't the case for him. Poor little Atobe, stuck doing peasants work…

"ORE-SAMA DEMANDS TO SEE THE PRINCIPLE!" Atobe fumed.

"It won't work; it didn't the last hundred times you went to him."

"Hundred and one lucky you think?" Mukahi grinned.

"It won't change an age old Hyoutei tradition." Oshitari, the practical, stated.

"It SHOULD. Why does ORE-SAMA have to work as a COMMONER, aa-an?" Atobe seriously wished he could wake up from this horrible horrid dream but unfortunately, it wasn't a dream…

"Why don't you just call your parents?" Mukahi asked, "Can't they get all of us out of this?"

"They're in La-la land, remember?" Atobe glared, how dared Mukahi presume that he hasn't thought of that?

"Too bad," Mukahi stuck his tongue out at Atobe, "Maybe we can go bug Shishido, his dad IS the superintendent."

"Nope," Shishido said, running up to them, "Already tried, won't work…something about looking good for the sister schools."

"What about your dad, Yuushi?"

"My dad is the chairman of the university, not the middle school." Oshitari said.

Shishido grinned, "At least I won't have to baby-sit, and I got the public library job."

"LUCKY BASTARD!" Mukahi fumed.

"Who else got the library job?"

"Choutarou… Hiyoshi… Kabaji…" Shishido listed.

"KABAJI?" NO, this was not Atobe's day, how did KABAJI land the desired job while Atobe got to work… Atobe shuddered; he REALLY did NOT want to think about it… Atobe, dirtying his hands…Atobe…having to work…like… actually work…

"Tough luck Atobe, no Kabaji to do the work for you," Mukahi laughed.

Atobe's glare at this moment was enough to silence… well… the world… but of course, not Hyoutei because they were used to this…

"Where are you guys headed?" Shishido asked.

"…" Atobe really did not wish to say it aloud… nope; it was too much of a disgrace for THE Atobe Keigo to admit to work at a place like that.

"You don't know?" Mukahi asked, incredulous.

"Well, whenever I ask Atobe, he'd just look like a demented bat trying to fly in the sun." Shishido rolled his eyes.

The 'demented bat' twitched and resisted the temptation to strangle Shishido, a demented bat… how dare he call ATOBE a demented bat…Atobe...well he really felt faint right now but didn't want to show it in front of his stupid friends who dare call him a demented bat. Don't they know what a great privilege it is to be acknowledged by THE Atobe Keigo?

"So where?"

"Public daycare…" Mukahi said reluctantly.

Shishido started laughing wantonly and didn't even stop when Ohtori ran up to them, he kind of had the image of Atobe changing diapers stuck in his head… he really wished he was there to see it… and take a couple of pictures while he's at it.

"Shishido-san?" Ohtori glanced at Shishido.

"Shishido, you can stop now…" Oshitari was getting a little mad, and this was Oshitari… he just might murder someone.

"Um, Oshitari-senpai, why does Atobe-buchou look like he's having a seizure?" The good-natured boy asked.

"Oh… um…" Oshitari's eyes had a hint of sadistic amusement in them… never a good sign. "Well, he's … not feeling well…"

"It's because I called him a demented bat." Shishido explained.

"Really…?" Ohtori really did NOT want to know what his senpai-tachi were talking about this time.

"Well he acts like one." Shishido rolled his eyes.

"SHISHIDO!" Atobe suddenly jumped up and almost pounced on Shishido if it wasn't for Oshitari's quick reflexes in restraining Atobe. Let's just say that Shishido was really glad at this moment that he was a dash specialist, and Mukahi really wished that Oshitari hadn't grabbed Atobe, it would've been funny to see Atobe beat up Shishido.

Then, Kabaji and Hiyoshi walked towards Atobe each with a piece of paper in their hands, Kabaji was holding Jirou and Hiyoshi was holding a tennis racket, obviously just coming back from practise.

"HEY HIYOSHI! Wanna switch places?" Mukahi asked, Mukahi really did NOT want to baby-sit some stupid little kids, who would most likely mistaken him for a girl. Nope, Mukahi most definitely did NOT want to be called a girl, AGAIN. Anyone could see that he was a boy; it's obvious. Right?

"No."

"Gakuto, we can't switch remember?" Oshitari really wished that Mukahi wouldn't do this… especially when he was trying to stop Atobe from committing murder.

"But all Hiyoshi has to do is dye his hair red and jump a lot…" Mukahi pouted, totally ignoring the fact that Oshitari was trying to restrain Atobe and Shishido was dialling his cell phone, asking for a restraining order.

"No."

"Do it for your senpai!"

"No."

"Come on! Please?"

"Senpai, you realize you're 158 cm and I'm 172 cm?" Hiyoshi finally said.

"Well nobody can tell!" Mukahi pouted but seriously, he should realize by now that only Jirou's pouting has an affect on these people… and maybe that kid from Rikkaidai; the demon Kirihara.

"How will it look when I stand beside Oshitari-senpai or Jirou-senpai?" Hiyoshi demanded.

"I had a growth spurt?" The shorty suggested.

"Which disappeared the next day?"

"Oh true…" Mukahi pouted, "I might be able to pull it off with Jirou."

"Gakuto, he's in our group." Oshitari said, finally calming Atobe down, destroying half the hall, a bust of the founder of Hyoutei, a painting of god-knows-what and his outfit while he was at it. Therefore, now Shishido was shooting wary glances at Atobe and Atobe was…in his own little emo corner.

"Shishido-san, we have to go to the library now." Ohtori said, glancing at his watch.

"You're right," Shishido glanced at his, "Come on Kabaji, Hiyoshi…"

"Usu."

"Ah…" Atobe turned around and reached out to grab Kabaji. (Atobe sounds a lot like Tamaki from Ouran)

"…"

"Atobe, let him go." Shishido said, annoyed, "We're going to be late."

"Ka…ba…ji…" Atobe released Kabaji and sunk back into his emo corner.

"Usu." Kabaji followed Shishido out the door and disappeared.

"Have fun!" Was the last thing they heard Shishido say before he disappeared, and all of them, except for Jirou, resisted throwing tennis balls at him.

"Let's wake Jirou up…" Oshitari suggested after about three seconds of silence.

"Jirou…" Atobe gently shook Jirou.

"This is so cutting into my Wimbledon time…" Mukahi muttered, "And Nadal's playing today too."

"It's only the quarter-finals…" Jirou murmured, still half-asleep, his sense of hearing even when he was asleep never failed to amaze the rest of the team.

"Regardless Jirou, wake up, we're going to be late." Oshitari nudged Jirou a little.

Jirou's eyes opened wide and he got up to stand drowsily beside Atobe. Now there was no stopping them, the HAD to go to the daycare centre, Atobe really was not feeling well at this moment…

"Atobe relax, it's only for 9-5." Oshitari said, noticing his friend's discomfort. Really, he couldn't have Atobe faint on him now, he DID promise Shishido lots of pictures and he could sell those pictures for a killing to rabid fangirls. Of course there's another use for those pictures… something along the lines of … shall we say it? Blackmail, of course Oshitari wasn't planning to blackmail Atobe, his buchou and friend, now was he…?

"Yeah, it's only for 1/3 of a day." Mukahi assured his buchou.

Atobe stopped in this steps and started freezing, the others could've sworn they saw shards of ice forming around Atobe's legs but of course that was humanly impossible. The buchou of Hyoutei's expression at this moment was … priceless. 1/3 of a day equals 8 hours, 480 minutes, 28800 seconds…

"Kei-chan! We'll be late." The narcoleptic nudged his ice-cold boyfriend.

"The sooner we get this over with, the better right?" Mukahi counselled, yep, Mukahi actually counselled Atobe for once and not the other way around, of course Mukahi had the same feeling of impeding doom but he wasn't going to show it in front of HIS Yuushi, nope, of course not.

"You can stop using my lines now, Gakuto." A very annoyed Oshitari stood over Mukahi, glaring down at him.

Mukahi grinned, suddenly seeing an opening which he could call attention to himself, "YUUSHI! What if the little kids are all really mean and jump all over us?"

"Gakuto, that's only in manga…"

"I'm so glad we're not manga characters then." Ahem, well then… anyone care to contradict that?"Shouldn't we be going?" Jirou asked, yawning and half-leaning on Atobe.

Mukahi glared at Jirou, "Where is this place anyways?"

"Two blocks from here." Atobe answered, apparently he unfroze himself… or maybe Jirou unfroze him, but whatever, as long as he could function.

"So we like, actually have to walk?"

"Yes, Gakuto, we have to walk."

"I bet Shishido and the others don't…" Mukahi pouted at the thought of Shishido riding happily in a car while they walked to their destination, unfortunately, Shishido wasn't so lucky.

---

"Are we there yet?" Hiyoshi asked.

"NO!" Shishido really wished he wasn't stuck with his underclassmen.

"You said it was three blocks away, we've been walking for five blocks already!" Hiyoshi really wished he was stuck with a more responsible upperclassman.

"…You try finding this place!"

"Shishido-san…" Ohtori nudged his senpai.

"WHAT?"

"We've been walking in the wrong direction…"

---

Mukahi, Oshitari, Atobe and Jirou stood outside a small quaint little building labelled Public Daycare and some random name.

"What an ugly place," Atobe commented.

"We can't do anything about it, let's just go." Oshitari said for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

When they entered, the first thing they saw was countless (to them it was countless, there were actually 28) children running around, and then they saw the small TV in a corner.

"Look! A TV! Do you think we can watch Wimbledon, Yuushi?" Mukahi asked, jumping towards the TV.

"Gakuto, don't touch anything," Oshitari called out.

"It feels like we're not babysitting these children, but rather Mukahi." Atobe commented, staring at Mukahi's vain attempts to wrestle the remote control out of the hands of about three children.

"Are you the volunteers from Hyoutei Gakuen?" A young lady walked towards them.

"Yes…"

"Oh thank goodness you're here, we've ran out of napkins and cookies, let me just show you around and I'll go buy some." The lady took their forms and glanced over them.

"Um… okay." Jirou yawned again.

"You'll be okay with the kids right?" The lady asked nervously, and who wouldn't be nervous? Leaving these poor innocent children in the care of an egotistical metrosexual, a narcoleptic, a sadistic tensai and an acrobatic.

"Yes," Atobe replied.

"Good," The lady turned to the children, "Children, please gather together."

"Hai, Hike neesan!" The children dropped what they were doing and gathered around the lady. Mukahi bounced over towards the lady with the remote control in hand.

"These are our new volunteers from Hyoutei Gakuen, say hi."

"Hello…" The children chorused.

"Please introduce yourselves." Hike-san smiled.

"I'm Atobe Keigo, a senior in Hyoutei."

"I'm Oshitari Yuushi, a senior."

"I'm Mukahi Gakuto, a senior."

"Oh, and he's Akutagawa Jirou…" Atobe added, seeing as Jirou started to doze off in a corner.

"So could you children please help these boys, since they are new here… and please, please don't cause them any trouble…"

"Okay!" The children's eyes glittered at the prospect of "trouble"

The lady turned to the boys and smiled apologetically, "I won't be long, the store's just around the corner."

"We'll be fine…" Atobe started but the lady already left.

"Well then…"

"Neesan! Why is your hair so bright?" A little mischievous boy came up to Mukahi and asked.

"Neesan?" Mukahi blinked… seriously Mukahi, get used to it, "Oh, I'm a boy, a niisan!"

"Neesan!"

"Niisan!"

"NEESAN!"

"NIISAN!"

"MUKAHI, SHUT UP!" Atobe finally lost his patience.

"But I'm a boy!" Mukahi argued.

"Go watch tennis or something!"

"FINE!"

Little did they know how evil the kids were…

---

"FINALLY WE'RE HERE!"

"We're late by half an hour." Hiyoshi mumbled.

"Who cares…"

"Let's go in…"

_**

* * *

**__Kinda an intro to what's gonna happen… seriously, this was originally gonna be one thing but I guess im making it into chapters, I hope I only need two chapters but knowing me, I'll write more. Ideas on what'll happen are accepted… cuz I'm kinda lost. Well I have a general idea but… meh._

_This is based on my volunteer experience at the Library and Ica's in L.I.T. Lmao, we're such losers._

_FINALLY EXAMS ARE OVER (I failed)! SCHOOL'S OUT! I'll be moving across the city soon so I might be off the internet for… oh a couple of days… -wails- NO INTERNET:'( -slits wrists and dies- And no library too… -evil glare at parents-_

_**E/N:**__ LAWLZ AT YOUU. HAHA!! YESS EXAMS DONEEE!! I FAILED BUT WHO CARES RIGHT NOWWWW!! SUMMER VACATION HAS STARTEDDD!!! Yes…it is a collaboration of like our retarded times volunteering…I have to do it again this summer…oh well…not like there's anything better to do…ANYWAYS…they kinda fail in this…but when do they not…I edited this while I was like…half asleep…well more like I had a headache…but who cares…if I didn't correct something please, tell Anti…she'll gladly laugh at me…_

_Ica_

_**Anti: **__no I'm not changing la-la land, because it kills you and I hope you die…(jks) I love you Ica._


	2. Chapter 2

**Rated:**** K+**

**Summary**: **"Why does ORE-SAMA have to work as a COMMONER, aa-an?****" A time old tradition of Hyoutei has the boys setting off in a whole new world…aka: a commoners world…**

**Pairings: ****Atoji, Dirty**

**Category: ****humour**

**Characters:**** Hyoutei**

**Disclaimer:**** If I owned PoT… I would… oh whatever … I just don't.**

* * *

Some people really loved the library, some people lived at the library, some people have never been to a library and some people had their own private library with their private librarians. Guess which group the four Hyoutei boys belonged to? Needless to say, they have NEVER even wondered about how a library functioned, well they didn't need to. These boys are probably some of the nation's top pedigree and spent their lives worrying about better things like … tennis for example… and …fashion… and all the important stuff like that. Therefore, they couldn't waste their precious time even considering how a library worked, seriously, worrying about that is for common people.

It was probably safe to say that they're going to have a better time than Atobe's crew who's probably screwed for the day, well, at first it didn't really seem like it because the job was immensely boring, overly boring and even the most awake person would've fallen asleep. Anyways, they couldn't fall asleep seeing as they're being graded on their work…

"Shishido-san, what are you doing again?" Ohtori asked, stifling a yawn, in the middle of cutting scrap paper for the library.

"Stamping books…" Shishido yawned uncontrollably.

"Looks like Hiyoshi's having fun…" Ohtori said, gazing about the library listlessly.

Shishido snorted, "How fun is placing holds?"

Yet Hiyoshi was laughing silently to himself as he placed a hold on the shelf.

"Oi Hiyoshi!" Shishido shout-whispered.

"Shishido-senpai?" Hiyoshi snapped out of his giggling fit and faced Shishido with an innocent scowl.

"What're you giggling about?"

"I wasn't giggling," Hiyoshi muttered.

"What were you laughing about then?"

"Tezuka from Seigaku's hold," Hiyoshi held a book up.

"What is it?"

"Fantastic Creatures and Where to Find Them by J.K. Rowling… or rather Newt Scamander" Hiyoshi replied, stifling a giggle.

"You mean the stoic Tezuka Kunimitsu?" Shishido asked, incredulous.

"Yes," Hiyoshi replied, grabbing another book from the trolley and shelving it.

"The one that Atobe is always praising?"

"Uh-huh," Hiyoshi shelved another book.

"….should we tell Atobe-buchou?" Ohtori asked.

"HELL NO!" Shishido laughed.

---

"Excuse me, neesan?" A little girl clutching her teddy bear walked up to Mukahi, currently sitting on a little stool, watching Wimbledon while other kids cried about missing their favourite shows.

"For that last time, I'm not switching!" Mukahi snapped, "And that's NIISAN to you!"

"Um, but, it's nine thirty, it's snack time!" The little girl looked ready to burst in tears.

"Well where are the snacks?"

"I dunno…" The girl said.

"YUUSHIII!!!!" Mukahi called.

"What is it now?" Oshitari looked up from a book he was reading to the kids.

"This person says it's snack time!" Mukahi, rudely, pointed to the little girl.

Oshitari glanced at the schedule posted on the board, "So it is."

"We're out of snacks remember?" Atobe reminded them, sitting beside the sofa on which Jirou slept doing nothing but looking pretty. (And doing a damned good job at it.)

"But we're HUNGRY!" The kids stamped their feet.

"AND we wanna watch our shows and not some stupid people hitting balls…"

"Tennis… stupid…?" Mukahi glared at the little kids.

"AHHH, niisan! Neesan is scary!" The little kids flocked to Oshitari.

"Gakuto, stop scaring little children."

"But they just said…"

"They're children!" Atobe pointed out.

"So when are we gonna get our snack?" A pretentious little boy asked.

Atobe glanced at the boy for a moment, "you will get it when the lady comes back."

"That's not soon enough!"

"Ugh…" Atobe stared at the boy, "I wish Kabaji was here."

---

Well right now Kabaji was… sorting the DVDs… in the library… by himself. Kabaji was bored and it was kind of hard to make Kabaji bored, considering his passiveness. However, even following Atobe around all day wasn't as boring as sorting DVDs.

"Usu?" Kabaji dropped a DVD on the floor. _Atobe-san is calling me…_

"What is it Kabaji?" Shishido asked, coming back from the washroom.

Kabaji shook his head and continued to work. Shishido just shrugged and went back to sorting (AKA flipping through) magazines.

---

"DO NOT THROW CHEAP PLASTIC TOYS AT ORE-SAMA OR ORE-SAMA'S BOY- I MEAN JIROU!"

"Well we want some food!"

Atobe groaned and dug his hands in his pockets in search of his cell phone(s).

"You don't have it remember? The teachers wanted to make sure we don't call for help." Mukahi sneered.

"…" Atobe glared at Mukahi then at Oshitari for help.

"Why are you looking at me?" Oshitari asked, turning away from the TV.

"You're good with children," Atobe replied.

Oshitari gave Atobe a look, "You try something."

"Ore-sama will not stoop to the level of taking care of children, that is for nurses," Atobe declared.

"And right now, you are the nurse, a nurse about to get fired if you don't do something," Oshitari calmly replied.

"They cannot fire ore-sama, ne Kabaji?" Atobe declared.

There was a long pause…

"Kabaji…?"

"He's not here, Atobe." Oshitari pointed out.

"…Ne Jirou?" Atobe finally tried.

"Usu, Kei-chan!"

---

"Ne, Shishido-san!" Ohtori glanced at Shishido.

"What is it?"

"Look, it's the Teletubbies!" Ohtori grinned, holding up a DVD.

"Is it that thing with the aliens and the wires sticking out of them?"

"They're not aliens," Ohtori said.

Shishido rolled his eyes, "Well whatever, all I know is that one of them is purple and gay."

"Tinky Winky is not gay!" Ohtori argued, hurt. "He's my favourite."

"He's purple and carries a pink purse." Shishido said, "I like Po far better."

"Po is like, a transvestite." Hiyoshi said, overhearing their conversation.

"Yeah!" Ohtori seconded that.

"…"

---

"I'm sorry I took so long," The lady apologized.

"It's fine," Oshitari smiled charmingly, distributing the snacks.

"Do I get one?" Mukahi asked Oshitari hopefully.

"No, these are for the children…"

"But I'm hungry!" Mukahi pouted and sat beside a kid to watch him eat and suddenly burst out, "LOOK A FLYING DONKEY!" He pointed straight at Atobe.

The little kid had the misfortune to look.

Mukahi stole his food…

"GAKUTO!" Atobe glared at Mukahi, "DO NOT CALL ORE-SAMA A FLYING DONKEY!"

"Wahh, neesan stole my food!" The little kid started crying.

"I did not! And it's NIISAN!" Mukahi mumbled, his mouth full.

"Gakuto… what did we go over?" Oshitari asked.

"You said candy, you didn't mention snacks!"

"You shouldn't be stealing from children in the first place…aho" Oshitari said. "And they're the same thing…"

"NU-UH!" Mukahi swallowed his food.

"Please set a good example for the kids," The lady cut in, "Go play some games…"

"What games?"

"Mother May I…?"

---

"Po OWNS TINKY WINKY!" Shishido yelled at his kouhai.

"TINKY WINKY IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN PO!" Ohtori yelled back.

"TINKY WINKY CARRIES A DAMNED PURSE, HE'S GAY AND HE CAN'T DANCE!"

"WELL PO PROBABLY GETS MOLESTED EVERYDAY BY THE OTHER TELETUBBIES!"

During this whole thing, Hiyoshi was still trying to put up the holds and Kabaji was still passively flipping through DVDs, it was a wonder they could concentrate through the whole thing.

"WELL PO'S BILLINGUAL, SHE SPEAKS CANTONESE!"

"WELL TINKY WINKY IS THE TALLEST AND HE'S PURPLE!"

"Ugh…" Hiyoshi rubbed his forehead, trying to block out the fighting.

---

"If I'm playing, then Atobe has to play," Mukahi declared, flinging his arms around like a madman.

Oshitari pushed up his glasses, "It won't work if we all play Mother May I, since there's 28 children. I suggest we have two games going on."

"Can we play Simon Says?" A kid asked.

"If you want…"

"Let's split then, pull straws?" Mukahi asked.

"Sure,"

They ended up with Atobe and Mukahi playing Mother May I and Jirou and Oshitari playing Simon Says, obviously that met with a round of complaints from Mukahi and Atobe.

"I'M NOT PAIRING WITH THAT SPOILED BASTARD, I WANNA PAIR WITH YUUSHI!"

"It's not like ore-sama wants to pair with a loser like you, Mukahi." Atobe glared coldly, "And if you'll be so kind as to remember that ORE-SAMA is your buchou and has the right to take you off the team."

"STILL I'LL BE DEAD BEFORE I GET KICKED OFF THE TEAM IF I'M WITH YOU!"

"Gakuto, it's called an indoor voice, USE IT!" Oshitari bonked Mukahi on the head affectionately.

"Excuse me? Ore-sama will be DEAD if ore-sama is paired off with you!"

"If you guys are stopped fighting," the lady looked apprehensive, "We'd like to start."

"Let's go, Tari-kun!" Jirou bounced happily away with Oshitari at his arm.

Mukahi, on the other hand, was glaring at Jirou with the expression of a serial killer. "Jirou, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YUUSHI?"

"I'm talking to him!" Jirou glanced back. "It's not improper is it?"

"Damn right it is!" Mukahi hissed, "Get your hands off him!"

"Gakuto, please set a good example for the kids," Oshitari said before walking off.

"Mukahi, if you don't behave, I will take you off the team and reinstate Taki."

So Mukahi finally settled down and they got the two games started with Oshitari being Simon and some random child being mother.

---

"This is a library, shush!" Hiyoshi tried to calm the two squabbling idiots down.

"Hiyoshi back me up, that's a senpai's order!"

"…" Hiyoshi pretended he didn't hear.

Kabaji just watched the scene with vague interest, but he was probably laughing silently inside while Ohtori and Shishido were screaming at each other as loud as they dared in a library (which wasn't very loud, to be sure).

* * *

_**A/N: **__I got lazy, not gonna finish this until the next chapter. UGH I keep on promising I'll have 2 chapters but then I have like 3… sorry if you're tired of reading this story. I hate it too. Lmao  
_

_Ica, you weren't on and i was lazy.  
_


	3. Chapter 3

Rated: K+

**Rated:**** K+**

**Pairings:** **Atoji and Dirty**

**Category: ****humour**

**Characters:**** Hyoutei**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own pot.**

**Ish modelling Hyoutei to Aoyama Gakuin Junior High/High School division because that school is like 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000x better than mine, I think the high school division actually has a guard. O.o.**

* * *

"Ore-sama refuses to 'hop like a frog' three steps." Atobe stood pompously over the young children.

"…If you don't, I'll do what I'm thinking of right now." Mukahi's eyes had the sadistic glint that was native to Oshitari.

"…Depends on what you're thinking of right now."

"Will you hop or not?"

"Ore-sama refuses!"

"DOGPILE ON ATOBE!" Mukahi shouted as he ran towards Atobe amongst the crowd of children, to tackle Atobe.

Atobe had one moment to react, and that was to protect his dear face from the young crowd. Strangely enough, Mukahi was not the one who reached Atobe first, nor was it the little devil children, but it was…

…Jirou.

"WAHHHH KEI-CHAN!!"

"JIROU, GET OFF ME!" Were Atobe's last words. (So to speak…)

Mukahi finally reached Atobe and jumped on top of Jirou along with the little children. However painful it was to Atobe, it was an amusing sight for Oshitari, who decided to sit away from the pile and observe.

Jirou and Atobe were caught in a compromising position, with Jirou's arm around Atobe's neck and pressed down against him under the weight of twenty-eight children, and Mukahi. (Who was about as small as the children but that's beside the point… anorexic imbecile.)

"Ne, onii-chan…" One of the little girls tugged on Atobe's tousled hair, "why do you have an ugly dot on your face?"

"Ugly… dot…." Mukahi looked confused for a moment and then burst out laughing, "She's talking about your mole, Atobe!"

"…Ore-sama's mole is perfect just like ore-sama!" Atobe declared whole-heartedly while trying to stand up.

"Who loves Atobe more, the fangirls or himself?" Mukahi asked.

"Right now, I would say Jirou." Oshitari nodded towards Jirou still clinging on to Atobe in the dogpile.

"But the mole is ugly…" The girl argued.

"It is NOT ugly!"

"Ne, now that you mention it… it does make your face a little…"

"20 LAPS NOW!"

"Alright, alright, I'll stop already."

"I mean it, Mukahi!" Atobe barked the order.

"…But I'm volunteering!" Mukahi replied.

"THEN TAKE THE KIDS AND RUN LAPS WITH YOU!!" Atobe ordered

"But…but…but…"

"NOW! Never insult ore-sama's mole."

Grumbling about strict buchous and the like, Mukahi surrendered to Atobe's command.

Oshitari smirked, gazing at Atobe's expression which betrayed no expression other than that arrogant smirk that graces his face 24/7. Atobe was a master at hiding his emotions, suppressing his sympathy and self-doubt.

"So what do we do for amusement now?" Oshitari asked himself, hardly able to contain his mirth.

Atobe groaned, "I've had enough amusement for a lifetime."

Unfortunately, it's Hyoutei, so more amusement has yet to come…

--

Hiyoshi closely dodged the book that whizzed past his ear and gazed in amazement at Choutarou's angry face.

The only time he'd seen Choutarou like that was when some punk ran over a kouhai with his bike. Needless to say, when Choutarou was finished with the punk, the poor guy looked hardly human. Therefore, it wasn't big surprise that Hiyoshi was more than a little scared.

Apparently, Shishido didn't know what the innocent little junior was capable of, as a book flew past Hiyoshi. Hiyoshi hightailed it out of there, thinking it prudent to hide behind Kabaji who was still carelessly filing DVDs.

"TINKY WINKY SUCKS DIPSY'S BALLS!" Shishido shouted, throwing a rather heavy book at Choutarou.

"WELL PO GETS MOLESTED BY ALL OF THEM!" Ohtori threw another book that vaguely resembled the size of an Oxford dictionary.

What passed in front of Hiyoshi and Kabaji's eyes was truly remarkable. It seemed like an assortment of random objects, from normal things like DVDs, books and library cards, to cakes, tennis balls and cacti. It seemed that every object known (or otherwise unknown) to man passed between Choutarou and Shishido in the throwing contest.

"Gekokujyou…" Hiyoshi mumbled, this was probably the only time he'll ever see two teenaged boys fight so intensely over Teletubbies.

-

"NIISAN!! We're gonna take the ugly dot off your face!" A little child tackled Atobe unexpectedly.

"You're going to… WHAT?" Atobe demanded, wrestling the little brat.

The children all seemed to think it was an awesome idea and once again, jumped on Atobe. "It's ugly and we're gonna fix it by taking it off!"

"You will NOT harass or otherwise touch ore-sama's face!"

Even before Atobe finished his sentence, a bunch of hands with dirty fingernails reached up and tried to scratch Atobe's face. (Oh the horror!)

"DO NOT TOUCH ORE-SAMA WITH YOUR DIRTY HANDS!" Atobe all but screeched.

A child's dirty hand reached up and poked the mole while Atobe was busy trying to hide his face in his arms. Atobe almost fainted. He would have too, if it wasn't for the fact that he had his precious face to protect.

Oshitari sat himself down on the couch and closely examined the situation. He smirked to himself as he planned ways to rub salt into Atobe's wound that would make Hiyoshi cry for joy.

"Yuushi! I order you to get these bratlings away from ore-sama!"

However, Oshitari decided that it wasn't safe to move (yet) and instead caught Jirou's eye.

Jirou fumed in a corner as he watched the little devils on top of _his_ Kei-chan. Murder was written on his sweet face as he jumped into the pile again, adding to Atobe's horror.

"Look Niisan! We're going to paint it!" Smiled a little child brandishing a paintbrush with pink paint dripping off it.

"If you dare come near ore-sama, you will never leave this daycare centre again. Your father will lose his job, your mother will disappear mysteriously, only to be found three weeks later buried in concrete; your siblings will be slave labourers in Thailand and…" Atobe trailed off as the little child attacked him, almost sticking the paintbrush into his beautiful eyes.

Oshitari smiled, got up and walked towards the pile. At first, Atobe thought he was saved as Oshitari reached into the pile but instead of taking away the little kids, he took Jirou.

Jirou pouted as he was taken away from Kei-chan and sat squarely in Oshitari's lap, struggling.

"Get your hands off my Ji-" Atobe was promptly cut off by another child attacking him with an unreasonably sharp pencil, offering to "colour in" the ugly dot.

And of course, that was the scene Mukahi came in to when he finished his laps.

--

The encyclopaedia of Japan's complete history was what ended the fight in the library as it hit Shishido fully in the face.

Choutarou calmed down immediately, "Oh my god, Shishido-san! I'm so sorry!"

"Mmph…" Was all that escaped Shishido in the (quite comical) puddle of blood.

"SHISHIDO-SAN!! WHAT HAVE I DONE?" Choutarou cursed his temper.

"Choutarou…I… love you…" Shishido managed.

"SHISHIDO-SAN! I… love you too, I always have."

Shishido's eyes opened for a moment longer, "but not in that way." And closed his eyes for the last time.

"NOOOOOO!"

Hiyoshi walked in to check up on the two and spied Shishido in the puddle of blood. "Gekokujyou…" _One down, four to go._

Of course, Shishido wasn't really dead… We, er, hope. He was just rendered completely… unconscious and while he laid there in the puddle of blood, the duty of cleaning the library fell to Choutarou (silently crying), Hiyoshi (silently laughing) and Kabaji (silent). That feat took all day and by the time they finished, Shishido was just fine and apparently, forgot his confession of love… or friendship… or whatever; Hiyoshi was thoroughly pissed off, he had to clean the mess Shishido and Choutarou made and Shishido wasn't even dead. _Sometimes, life is so unfair_, he thought as they decided to go check up on the daycare.

--

Upon arriving, they found Mukahi engaged in a bitch fight with Jirou, whilst Oshitari watched, amused, and wondered if he should attempt to help. Jirou was torn between saving his own skin from Mukahi's unusually sharp nails and saving his boyfriend from the clutches of evil children, Atobe was torn between kicking Mukahi's butt and saving his no longer perfect face and Mukahi was torn between clawing Jirou's eyes out and joining in on the slaughter of Atobe. Needless to say, there was a lot of conflicting emotions in the room at that time. The supervising lady at the daycare just turned up the volume of the TV and watched some sort of drama, pretending none of this was happening.

Oshitari was snapped out of his musings by a little kid snatching his glasses and running joyfully back to Atobe. "I'm going to use the funny glasses to cover up the ugly dot!" The child announced, jumping back on Atobe who now resembled a rainbow version of Ronald McDonald.

The look Oshitari had at that moment was enough to freeze nitrogen. He stood up and calmly walked over to the pile and snatched the kid by the wrist. The kids all stopped their assault and watched. Even Atobe watched, a look of horror washing over his face as he realized he was wearing the glasses.

"Dear god, what has happened here?" Choutarou crossed himself and stepped in.

Hiyoshi could hardly suppress his grin, here were his senpai-tachi killing each other without him to even provoke it. He always knew this day would come soon enough and he muttered a silent thanks to the gods for this wondrous event. All he showed of his pleasure, however, was a simple "Gekokujyou."

Shishido followed and upon seeing him, several children began to cry. Blood still dripped from his head and his look was positively ominous.

"I told you that you were ugly enough to make kids cry!" Mukahi screamed, pausing in his homicide mission to taunt Shishido.

"Shut up, you cheap whore!" Shishido barked back, wiping the blood away with the hem of his shirt.

Kabaji jumped to Atobe's rescue, lifting kids away and bringing him a basin of water.

Thus all became well in the land of the Daycare as their shift was over and the supervisor was left to assess the damage. She happily accepted the help of Atobe's various maids and sighed with relief at the prospect.

So they left their horribly long day reasonably happy (that it was over)… except for Hiyoshi who still held on to the thought (the hope?) that his senpai-tachi would finish each other off one day once and for all. He sighed and cursed the gods for taking the chance of gekokujyou away, grumbling at how the gods seemed to love to play with him… that is until… Shishido fainted from excessive loss of blood.

**Owari**

**Omake**

"SHISHIDO-SAN!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!"

A downpour of rain fell (melo)dramatically down, drowning Choutarou's pleas.

"You'll live in my heart, always!"

* * *

_**A/N:** took me a full year and a month to finish this. Wow. I'm sorry for the delay and the wacky ending… I'm just weird (and high off coffee at 12 am). I hope ral doesn't see this and kill me… and ICA DO NOT SHOW THIS TO RAL!! Finally summer skewl's over!! I'll be working on BOS5 soon… so stay tuned for that! YAYS! It'll be a SLOW process tho. I'm too lazy. Sry. –muah-_

**_E/N:_** _Angie makes life hardddd (no i dont!! that's mean!)_


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